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Self leadership, “If you have a pulse, you have a purpose” guest Sabrina Nelson

SIL PC Sabrina 2 19

It all starts with oneself.

To be a good leader one has to be a good leader of one’s own self.

Encouraging others to be better self-leaders involves an understanding of what are one’s gifts and talents and leaning into using those. Often it takes another to spot the talent and bring it to light thereby helping the person to be seen, heard and understood. Most important is understanding the other person, as that’s what most people want. In doing this sometimes one has to help people lean into their discomfort in order to get comfortable.

To be a good leader one has got to be brave. This is where fear comes in. Often in self-development one is not thinking about the inner self but about what other people think and the noise and chatter from outside. Listening to that noise and what others are thinking results in keeping one stuck.

At this point where self-belief becomes very important. Taking courage and going forth believing one will be okay allows for a different result to occur. It enables change to occur. What’s key is to know that no matter what others think of us, what’s important is what we think of ourselves.

We need to know if we are enough, at that point or stage in life, to and for ourselves whilst we are striving to be the better version of our self. It requires accepting oneself fully and tap into one’s authenticity and show up in that form.

Self-belief comes from understanding, knowing and believing in the purpose one has. Once you have an inner purpose and believe that’s what one is meant to do and enjoy doing it one finds the will to just do that.

Quote–“If you have a pulse, you have a purpose”.

To be an effective and great leader two key components must be on display– compassion& empathy.

If a leader lacks these then it is very hard to have the team believe in that leader. These skills need to be developed in order to be a good leader.

Empathy involves the ability to listen not with the intent to respond but to understand. Empathy helps one understand oneself from the perspective of one’s behaviour in order to be able to understand others. That helps self-development from a leadership perspective.

Having empathy enables one to take constructive criticism and use it positively for self-development. When we lead ourselves first and improve, we benefit the team we work and interact with.

This tends to radiate out and allows for in connecting with people.

There are two aspects in connecting with people which to some comes naturally and to many it’s hard. A reason for finding it hard to connect is because one may find it uncomfortable being vulnerable. That’s where being authentic and transparent helps as people when one is true, and one is not. An often misconception is that vulnerability is a weakness. On the contrary, it’s a strength.

The other aspect in connecting is our story that we tend to project outwards.

Our story is what we tell ourselves dictates how we process it from within. Our behaviour reflects this and as a result we project it out.

It’s important to identify what is that one story we keep telling ourselves. That becomes the energy we radiate out. This energy is what lifts or dampens others. Understanding one’s story and identifying what energy one is creating aids in connecting with others of similar energy. On the positive side, this helps. On the negative side, this enables one to identify what needs to be done and jump out of a negative energy situation and improve oneself.


About the author, Ross

Behavioural leadership coach committed to bringing more soul into business and reducing a leader's stress in managing their people

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